Worst. Premiership Side. Ever?

Why didn't we just lose the playoff final and stay in the First Division? And off to Old Trafford on Wednesday. Still, at least Sunderland have now given us a fixed target of ineptness to aim at.

On the lighter side, I can't be the only person to think that Roman Abramovich would have made a good Bond villain. I certainly won't be surprised if, one of these days, Stamford Bridge suddenly slides open to reveal a missile solo. 'Ah, Mr Ferguson. I've been expecting you.'