Going once

The Independent is having a Christmas charity auction again, which is one of those things that makes me wish I had more money than I've got. And while I could probably resist bidding on having Yasmin Alibhai-Brown cook me a curry, or getting Mark Steel to come round and not be funny in my house, as opposed to not being funny on stage, the one person on there I think is really worth spending a lot of money to have a day with is Will Self. So, anyone got a spare £500 quid or so they could give me? I'd auction off a day with myself to finance my bid, but 45p and a bag of crisps isn't going to get me off to much of a start.

Of course, part of me wonders if there are any... let's say 'mischievous' instead of 'malicious'...people who'd pay large amounts of money for a day/night with someone they disagreed with just to heckle them. If I've just placed that thought in someone's head, please pretend it didn't come from me, I couldn't handle the responsibility.