Friday, January 31, 2003

Just been having a good laugh at Landover Baptist's review of The Two Towers and some of the hate mail they got as a result of it. I'm pretty sure that there has to be a market for a spoof warning system for Windows - something that prevents you sending an email in response to a parody or spoof that'll only embarrass you later on.
Anyway, visiting Landover Baptist reminded me that I'd heard Pastor Deacon Fred do a very funny speech at the Godless Americans March on Washington last year. Which gives me the right to blatantly plug my pictures from that day.
OK, lagging slightly behind the news of course, but Tessa Jowell's announcement that she wants to prevent the Stop The War march from assembling in Hyde Park strikes me as one of this government's stupider decisions. Going beyond the fact that Hyde Park is historically a place where marches gather at the end, did she really expect that after they announced it everyone who was organising and planning to go on the march would just say 'oh well, let's call it off until later in the year then'? If anything, it makes it likely that even more people will turn up - there's a big attraction in going to something the Government has tried to ban.
Given that this government is supposedly the most media-savvy one we've ever had (what New Labour headline is complete without a spin reference?) I can only think of two explanations for this decision - Tessa Jowell is either extremely stupid, or she's secretly against the war and wants to boost the turnout on the 15th February.
I hope it's the second, as that seems to be the effect.

Thursday, January 30, 2003

From today's Bartcop:
Top Ten Components of a Fun Web Page

1. Don't do a page like mine - do a page like yours.
Be yourself, and be honest even when they disagree.
Don't write anything because they want to hear it.
If you think you're right, stand up and fight.

2. Have fun doing it - don't make it work or you'll burn out.
(That probably should've been #1, cause you're dead without it.)

3. Put something new up every day. If people click and see something old, they might not ever click again. You gotta give them something each day.

4. Bush will write your material for you. Just follow that sick bastard and write about every disgusting thought that he causes to come into your mind.

5. Keep things short. Only the smart people like 3,000 word dissertations and there aren't that many smart people out there.

6. Lots of toons. People looooove the toons. Some people go thru the whole issue looking just at the toons, then they go back and read all the junk.

7. Always remember - we are right and they are wrong.

8. Don't take yourself too seriously. If they say something good about you, don't believe them. Say "Aw, shucks," and go on.

9. Steal a lot - that's how I got started.

10. Let your passions hang out.
Chinaco, Garbage, Vegas, SF Chocolate, Fresh corn, The Sopranos,
Tell people what makes you tick, because it probably makes them tick, too.

Bonus Component

11. Welcome the Monkey Mail - it's the funnest part of doing this.

He's got almost 1000 issues and 20,000 readers a day - he must know something...
So, I'll try and follow his advice - let me know if I'm slipping up.
Well, as I'm FTPing a large number of pictures to my website, I thought that now would be a good time to write the first proper entry in this blog. So, the words of Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine: "Hello, good evening and welcome to nothing much."
Of course, FTPing over a hundred JPG files over a 56K modem means I have lots of time to actually think about this entry, to make it something interesting and deep. Or, I could just waffle on until it's all finished uploading...
So, what is this blog? What makes it unique among the millions of others out there on the web? To put it in simple terms - it's the only one written by me. And that's about all. I'm not setting out with any grand plans to change the world, or become the internet's most respected authority on any subject. It's just going to be pure unadulterated me, which means it'll jump around from subject to subject without any warning, will contain the very occasional deep insight into life hidden among thousands of words of meaningless rambling and the occasional rant about something that happens to be annoying me at the time. Plus, of course, there'll be links to various things I discover on the web, to justify calling it a blog, but they'll probably all be things that everyone else found days, months or years ago. Whatever I can get away with posting here, really. After all, it's my website.
The name? It comes from a Robert Anton Wilson book - Reality Is What You Can Get Away With - which is interesting in the scattershot way that all his books are, and I just like the idea that life should be about what you can get away with. For a picture of what life would be like if 'do what you can get away with' was the general principle everyone lived by, try reading Ken Macleod's The Cassini Division. Or just read any of his books, as they're all good.
And as my pictures have now almost finished uploading, that's it for now.