Beyond parody

We return to the Guardian's article about the Hartlepool by-election, part two of which wasn't available online this morning, clearly because the editors were checking Decca Aitkenhead hadn't accidentally filed Comical Tommy instead. First we have Fraser Kemp's confession to stalking Chris Rennard and timing his absences from the glory of Hartlepus:

"You need to be here 24 hours a day, living it, breathing it. Rennard says he's up here but he isn't; I know he got the 2.30 train yesterday, I saw him at Darlington, and today he's off again. And I know he was in Westminster last week because someone saw him in the Pugin room."

And then the Wrightbot shows off its fantastic programming:

Supposing he were elected on Thursday, I asked him what he thought he would be remembered for on the council.

"I think I'd say, being courteous and responsive to local issues. I've tried to be as local a councillor as possible."

But apart from being local, what else did he offer? The question seemed to throw him. "Well, I'm local-"

But so was the taxi driver outside - and many of the names rejected by the NEC. If he excluded being local, could he describe his other qualities?

"Well you see I don't think you can exclude it. You see, I'll live in the town." But Blair is seldom in Sedgefield, and presumably he didn't think the prime minister ought not be its MP. He looked blank.

"I think I'm bright." He paused. "I think I'm articulate. I've been to university. I can string a sentence together." Then he relapsed. "I think it's absolutely fantastic that one of our own could be going to parliament on Thursday."