Devaluation

I'm fully aware that all religion is rather silly and every one of them is based on particularly stupid premises, but isn't it getting just slightly too easy to get beatified by the Catholic Church?

Pope John Paul II has declared five Roman Catholics blessed, including the last Austro-Hungarian emperor...

the beatification of Emperor Charles I has been criticised by some as he authorised the use of poison gas by his army in World War I.

Charles I sat on the throne of the now defunct empire between 1916 and 1918.

The Austrian press has also questioned the miracle he allegedly worked to merit beatification.

According to the Vatican, he cured a Brazilian nun of varicose veins.

About 1,000 descendants of the Habsburg dynasty attended Sunday's ceremony.

"I hope Emperor Charles will serve as an example, especially for those with political responsibilities in Europe today," the Pope said.

I do wonder just what the criteria for beatification are. Are points allocated for actions? And on what scale does healing one nun of varicose veins outweigh authorising the deployment of poison gas? Has someone informed Saddam Hussein's lawyers of this? It could be a could defence for him - perhaps Tariq Aziz should have a quick word with Pope.

And please correct me if I've got this wrong, but isn't one of the rules of Catholicism that someone has to be prayed to before they intervene? And if I am right, just why on Earth was a Brazilian nun praying to the former Emperor of Austria-Hungary? Was she bored and just plucking names at random from an encyclopedia? Can you just pray to anyone who happens to be dead, or are there official Vatican forms that have to be filled out before someone becomes officially worthy of being prayed to.

I'll make this clear now, just for the avoidance of doubt. If I happen to be wrong and the Catholics turn out to be right, I'll probably be going to hell. But if by some chance I end up on a cloud, don't even thinking of praying and asking for my intercession unless it's for something important, like stopping a war. The afterlife's a time to relax, kick back and chill a little, not for flitting round the cosmos healing varicose veins, warts and ingrown toenails. Wouldn't it be nice if the Pope told his assembled gullible sheep - sorry, Catholics - to stop praying for the relief of ailments that can be relieved by minor suffering and ask the several thousand saints he's created to do something useful with their time?