An appeal

From Duck Throat, my source within Florida and the Disney Imperium:

To the fabulous citizens of the United Kingdom,

HHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!

It has been made monumentally clear that we are not capable of governing ourselves. After screwing ourselves over in the most royal fashion four years ago, one would think that we would have learned something. But nooooo, not us! Not the "Great Liberators!" Not the "Planetary Policeman!" Not the "Leaders of the Free World!"

We did it again! We still cannot seem to choose a President in a timely and orderly fashion. So, here is my request to you, Great Britain.

Take us back!!!!

We will learn the lyrics to "God Save the Queen." We will learn to speak proper English and affect a more pleasing accent- no Southern drawls, no "Spenglish", no redneck twangs or Bostonian brogues. We promise. We shall (very) happily give up our Ray Romano and Drew Carey for the comic stylings of Eddie Izzard. We will trade in our Ford Focuses for Mini Coopers (despite the fact that they've been bought by the Germans). Speaking of other countries, we will faithfully study world geography so that we can automatically locate each country on the map- whether we are at
war with them or not!
So, if we behave ourselves and promise to be good little boys and girls, would the UK consider taking us back. Please? Pretty please!?!