Homosexual Redneck Prairie Dog Killers

From Brilliant at Breakfast, because we all need a laugh right now:

Even with a promised legal tussle ahead of them, it was a night of celebration for Dean and his supporters. As Nevada pushed the electoral-vote tally in Dean's favor at 11:47pm EST, a moment indicated by a panicked furrowing of Dan Rather's brow, the scene at the former Vermont governor's campaign headquarters in Burlington could not have been more orgiastic had Bacchus himself been onstage singing "It's Getting Hot In Here," instead of a shirtless Al Gore. Carol Moseley Braun, bombed on Cristal, was spotted french-kissing Bill Bradley, then disappearing into a smoke-filled room with him. Campaign guru Joe Trippi swaggered around in a leather g-string, swigging from a bottle of Jack Daniels as two Smith girls smeared his chest with VapoRub and implored him to "drop E with us, baby." Muslim-American women ululated with abandon, though they did not partake of the liquor. The President-elect's wife, Dr. Judy Steinberg Dean, passed around nitrous masks to dozens of giggling Deaniacs, many of them stripped down to nothing but their sports bras and J. Crew skivvies (some wore rep ties). A fully nude Ben Affleck was doing push-ups in the middle of the dance floor as dozens of Homosexual Redneck Prairie-Dog Killers--a key Dean constituency--clapped with joy. Janeane Garofalo swung from a chandelier clad in naught but a bowtie--stolen, she bragged, from Tucker Carlson.

It's worth reading the whole thing though you might end up wondering how you can travel to this alternate univers:

During his famous "Guns and Gays" speech in January 2004, Dean bridged a theretofore vast gap between Chelsea Boys and Good Ol' Boys when he said, "The Second Amendment gives us the right to bear arms, and I support that right with all my heart--I like to shoot things, and I like things that have been shot. I also believe that we, as Americans, have the right to play butt-bongo with whomever we chose, and who among us can say we haven't wondered what it's like on the old 'down low?' If you are gay in this country, I suggest you arm yourself. If you don't like gays--I suggest you look deep into your heart and ask yourself, 'What's with all this phallic imagery in my gun-rack?'"

The speech struck a chord, made it okay to be gay and gun-loving. Before long, a new pro-Dean organization had formed. Homosexual Redneck Prairie Dog Killers crystallized what the campaign was all about--a campaign not afraid to point out cultural, political, and yes, sexual connections between previously polarized groups of Americans. It was an area none had dared tread before, except when Dick Morris went on his toe-sucking rampage during back in the Clinton years.