Saturday, June 26, 2004
Pockets of Laotian speakers
Explanations and excuses
Because a swivel-eyed loon is for five years, not just election time
Well, at the rate we've seen so far the next five years should a rollercoaster ride of lunacy: the days following their election success have already seen one of their new Members of the London Assembly settle a libel action out of court with his own party chairman for associating him with the BNP, the aforementioned party chairman resign, one of their newly elected MEPs appear in court on charges of benefit fraud, the appointment of one of their phalanx of disgraced former MPs as chief executive of the party, and the party toddle off to Europe to form an alliance with the ultra-nationalist, Christian fundementalist, anti-semitic "League of Polish Families", which opposes the EU as an anti-christian plot by freemasons and includes the holocaust denier Ryszard Bender as a prominent member. By one's friends shall we judge them...
Mark Croucher, UKIP's affable press officer, also does not want the country to be ruled by Brussels.
But as he climbs into his 4X4 at the end of the morning's events, he can at least see one upside to Europe.
He tells me he is off to load up on "cheap fags and booze" before heading back to Blighty.
Quote of the day
Says Councillor Happy, and now he's responsible for one of them on Cambridge City Council.
Friday, June 25, 2004
Long live the Last International!
A shocking deterioration in quality
Thursday, June 24, 2004
My top secret super plan is nearing fruition
I'm off to practise my evil laugh and begin building a mountain fortress. No one can stop me!
It all started going downhill when they translated it from the Aramaic, you know...
How dare they second-guess Saint Paul and then write their own pathetic hormonal morality into his books?
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, you know. After all, Paul seemed to spend most of his time second-guessing the message of Jesus and writing his own 'pathetic hormonal morality' into the canon of the church.
those fake Christians with their fake Bibles who use God's name to promote exactly the sort of values to which real Christianity has always been in fiercest opposition.
Yes, how dare they use the name of Jesus to promote that whole 'love one another as I have loved you' message. Don't they know that God's real message is one of smiting, anger, hellfire and eternal suffering for all who dare to question his infinite love?
Personally, I'm expecting a series of denunciations, show trials and purges to begin soon to identify which person (who, no doubt, is objectively pro-Stopper) was responsible for the internet having to go for all of 48 hours or so without the latest pearls of wisdom from Harry et al. It's the least we can expect...
Will this do?
I'm wondering what his next piece will be. Part of me thinks it'll be 'Wayne Rooney is a tosser' or 'Why I hate football' (though, as he's already confessed to supporting Spurs, we already knew that) though there's always other fearless contrarianism like 'Why more people should kick puppies', 'Jesus, how I hate the taste of ice cream', 'We must extinguish the sun now', 'How dare these nanny staters tell me that banging my head against a brick wall repeatedly might be bad for me and it could be a good idea for me to stop' or 'Really, newspapers will fill their comment sections with any old toss nowadays, won't they?'
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
First day at school
I wanted to take a moment to introduce myself (or re-introduce myself!) on my first day back at the BBC.
One of the great things Greg did here was to transform the relationship between the DG and the rest of the organisation. He went out of his way to meet and talk to people, to keep them informed and to listen to them. Everyone thought they could e-mail him or button-hole him if they saw him.
We're starting a new chapter at the BBC but Greg's tradition of openness and friendliness is definitely one I want to continue. In fact, we may need to spend more time talking to each other in the coming months. In a week, we're launching our vision for the future - our contribution to the debate about the BBC's Charter. And we face a host of opportunities and issues, some of them quite complex and contentious.
So you'll be hearing plenty from me. This afternoon I'll speaking on the ringmain at 2 o'clock. The broadcast will also be streamed on Gateway. See below for broadcast details.
Next Tuesday, you'll be able to hear Michael Grade and me launching our Charter document. And I'm also going to do something I started at Channel 4 - a regular e-mail to all staff with news and some tips on what to look out for on our airwaves. You'll get the first one on Monday.
It's great to be back. I'm really looking forward to working with you.
All the best,
Public Service Announcement
No word yet on whether the 'Stoppers' are to blame for it, but I'm sure it'll turn out to be their fault, just like everything else is...
Monday, June 21, 2004
To the playa haters
But then, of course, Labour councils do nothing wrong and are loved by all the people. Why anyone would want to vote them out is a mystery.
Sunday, June 20, 2004
Worst. Archbishop of Canterbury. Ever.
Plus, it may settle one of the great theological questions of our time - what church do the Simpsons belong to? Reverend Lovejoy's always seemed pretty Episcopalian to me, and this may confirm it.