What You Can Get Away With » Films

I just wanted to tell you all good luck. We’re all counting on you.

A trailer for the film version of Watchmen has been released (large version, so may take a while to load) and it does look rather good. Mind you, I thought the trailler for V For Vendetta looked good, and the film turned out to be someone using the original comic series as toilet paper, so I’ll resist the urge to get too excited about it yet.

OK, in posting this I want you to remember that I thought the V For Vendetta movie looked good in advance shots, then the actual film turned out to be something that made me want to drag out the brain bleach afterwards to forget about.

So, here are some pictures of the Comedian, Rorschach, Nite Owl, Ozymandias and Silk Spectre from the Watchmen movie.

Useful things to discover: Google finds only two hits for the phrase “as good as the Star Wars prequels” (OK, so there’ll be three now) and one of those is commenting on the fact that there’s only one mention of it.

Infinite recursion, anyone?

Taking Liberties sounds like it’ll be an interesting film, though it’s a shame it’s not on in any cinemas within 50 miles of me. Still, I can go and watch lots of films about people being tortured or doing horrific things to each other – it was a very strange experience to go and see This Is England a few weeks ago, and get bombarded by trailers for some pretty nasty-looking horror movies. Not quite sure they’d got their targeting right there…

I just saw a trailer for the film Amazing Grace, which featured the line ‘he changed history forever’. And so I’m wondering, is there any way you could change history temporarily?

RIP

Nigel Kneale – creator of Quatermass as well as the first (and best) adapter of Nineteen Eighty-Fourhas died. I think to call him the ‘godfather of television science fiction’ is an understatement – while Quatermass was undoubtedly influential in the development of later SF, including Doctor Who, Kneale’s work on that series was pioneering for all TV. He was one of the first British writers to understand that TV was a medium in its own right and that it could be used for more than just pointing a camera or two at a play on a stage.

Resting

I’m still in Edinburgh, enjoying the second of my rest days. In fact, it’s almost 2 1/2 as Thursday’s trip from Falkirk to Linlithgow was really just a half-day of walking – 12 miles, pretty much all on the flat and with just a little pack rather than the full one meant I was done by 2 o’clock and on a train back into Edinburgh.

And unlike previous rest days, I’ve actually achieved something in the last couple of days other than sitting around doing as little as possible. I’ve been to my first two Fringe performances (including my friend Rob, who you should all go and see if you get the chance – it’s free!) and then last night, Hollywood gave me a nice birthday present by releasing Snakes On A Plane yesterday, which is everything you’d expect and more, and is the only time I’ve ever been in a cinema where the audience applauded the title appearing on screen. Suggestion for a sequel: Snakes On A Space Plane (or just Snakes In Space – as long as it’s got Sam Jackson in, it doesn’t really matter too much)

Anyway, back on the road tomorrow for the final strecth from Linlithgow into Edinburgh along the canal – I’m probably getting a lift to Linlithgow, so if anyone wants to join me, meet me around the train station at about 10am, or give me a call (07981 896375) and we can sort something out.

Oh my, I think I may just have seen what’s either the worst or the funniest film of all time – Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. I don’t think they intended to make it a comedy, though…

If Ed Wood was alive today, this was the kind of movie he’d be making. A movie in a well-travelled genre, made for a budget that probably wouldn’t have paid for the catering on Jaws, seemingly filmed entirely on location in Bulgaria (pretending to be Mexico, which gives you an idea of how cheap this movie is – they couldn’t even afford to film in the real Mexico), 95% of the roles played by badly dubbed Bulgarians, a script that does its best to avoid sense, logic, and reason at all times and special effects that would have looked slightly poor in the early 80s. Unfortunately, the film was made in 2002.

And, on top of it all, and perhaps the reason this movie is finding an entirely new audience, John Barrowman. Yes, Captain Jack from Doctor Who, here getting in some early TARDIS training by piloting a submarine that’s curiously bigger on the inside than the outside – and allows people to exit it into the sea through a single hatch without allowing water in. Now, Barrowman’s not a poor actor (though perhaps one of limited range outside the theatre) but he’s by far and away the best actor in this movie, which may give you some idea of how poor the rest of the performances are. Bizarrely, his co-star Jenny McShane seems to be out-acted by people who aren’t even speaking the same language as her.

When these two come together it’s for what is perhaps the least erotic sex scene in movie history, however it is preceded by The Line. The rule is that you must experience the movie yourself to hear The Line, but it is almost worth it in itself. If you have a low tolerance for cheesy dialogue, bad special effects, poor dubbing, nonsensical plots and a ridiculous amount of stock footage don’t see this film. Otherwise, it may be 90 of the most amusing minutes of your life.