» Humour ¦ What You Can Get Away With

Important political question of the day: is Philip Hammond actually David Tennant with grey hair?
davidtennantphiliphammond
Does this mean that his pleas to protect defence spending are actually about protecting Britain’s share of the UNIT budget?

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Discussing the Cabinet’s Jubilee gift to the Queen:

Asked whether she might have enough table mats already before today’s gift, Mr Pickles said: “One can never have too many table mats.”

Further comment is superfluous.

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The Radio Times have discovered some shocking news about the Royal Family. In the Christmas issue during the interview with Miranda Hart, they casually drop this bombshell:
Text from Radio Times, including line 'where Clare Balding was head girl (and later, Kate Middleton)'
Yes, unbeknownst to all of us, Clare Balding’s career was even more remarkable than we imagined. On top of all her other work, she also manages to be Kate Middleton. Who knew?

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The General Council of Monty Python have today rejected moves to enable women to become directors of Monty Python films. This comes twenty years after it was agreed that women could attempt to tell jokes on screen, but were not allowed to ascend to the position of director.

Hopes had been high that women would be allowed to achieve this status, however opponents had pointed out that the holy texts had made it perfectly clear that women were only allowed to direct if they were portrayed by Terry Jones in drag. The Forward in Farce group – which opposed women telling jokes, feeling their role is clearly defined in the sacred texts whilst rejecting Fawlty Towers as mere apocrypha – celebrated the result today.

However, a majority did vote in favour of the move, including overwhelming votes in the House of Upper Class Twits and the House of Gumbies. A majority of the House of Fans was in favour of the change, but did not achieve the two-thirds majority required under the rules (designed by the Silly Party).

“My brain hurts.” A member of the House of Gumbies said after the vote. “Other comedies have women directors, but not the Python? Need brain surgeon.”

In other news, the Church of England’s credibility has passed on, is no more, has ceased to be, has expired and gone to meet its maker. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. Its metabolical processes are of interest only to historians. It’s run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible.

(If this made no sense to you, watch the video below)

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I was looking up something about Nick Harvey for my previous post and noticed that he’s started to show a display a resemblance to a former Soviet leader…

Mikhail GorbachevNick Harvey

Is Stavropol Krai in North Devon following the boundary review? I think we should be told.

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Earlier today, someone linked to this amusing Storify collection of James Delingpole exhibiting his usual debating style of blocking and ignoring anyone who dares criticise him – especially when they commit the ultimate sin of using facts to challenge him. Normally, Delingpole’s someone I ignore – until the final revelation of his role as a Morrisian agent provocateur proving just how much crap you can get published if you’re willing to ignore facts and appease the rich and powerful, he’s of no real interest to me – but something about this caught my attention.

Namely, Delingpole’s Twitter avatar: James Delingpole's Twitter avatar Not something I’d normally care about, but this sparked off a memory in me of another image that looked somewhat similar. Specifically, one from Charlie Brooker’s TV Go Home book:
Page from Charlie Brooker's TV Go Home showing a man sticking a fork into his face

Probably only me who spots the resemblance, but the idea of Delingpole harming himself with cutlery while advertising Downright Average Thick British Viewer Day seems kind of apt.

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Last week saw the regular spectacle of various people cooing over a list of ‘the most influential Liberal Democrats’ compiled by someone who has nothing to do with the party and seemed to be little more than a list of ‘Liberal Democrats I’ve heard of’ coupled to a random number generator. While the sensible reaction to that would be to draw up an alternative list with a properly defined ranking system that’s open to scrutiny and challenge, it would also be the time-consuming one, so I chose to do something silly instead.

And thus, I present to you the five people who could potentially have the most influence on the Liberal Democrats if the stars were to align the right way, it was a slow news day and/or our understanding of the way the world works turns out to be a bit flawed. So, without further ado:

Read the rest of this entry

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