I blame Ben Goldacre, quite frankly. He was telling people on Twitter about a bizarre flyer that had come through his door – though seemingly not targeted at him personally – and my love of reading about conspiracy theories came to the fore and forced me to go look at David Icke’s Swine Flu website.

(By the way, according to Icke, men doing building work turning up in unmarked white vans is suspicious and indicative of a global conspiracy at work on the Isle of Wight. Yes, it seems that Icke wants to elevate White Van Man alongside the Black Helicopter in conspiracy myth.)

I could go through the craziness, but that would spare you the fun of reading it yourself. But what got my attention was Icke claiming that:

Something very big is about to go down. I can’t say exactly when, but we are talking months, not years.

Scary stuff, I’m sure you’ll agree. Not that Icke himself appears to, given that the front page of his website, rather than urging people to prepare themselves to hide from the coming ‘Orwellian control-system’ is exhorting them to come hear him speak at the Brixton Academy in May 2010. Yes, because global totalitarian dictatorships ushered in at the behest of our secret lizard Illuminati masters turn out to be surprisingly tolerant of mass gatherings of the supporters of The One Man Who Saw The Truth.

(Of course, I’m saying this because I’m a member of the secret Illuminati conspiracy, and the Finance And Audit Scrutiny Committee meeting I’m going to tonight is merely cover for the real business of the New World Order that we’ll be discussing afterwards)

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  1. Of course, one might note that Icke claims that ‘something big is on the way’ on a shockingly regular basis, yet curiously the ‘something big’ in question never actually seems to appear. I’m still waiting for the terrifying restrictions on internal movement within the UK he and his followers were claiming was just around the corner during the foot and mouth crisis a decade or so ago. I wonder why nobody ever seems to bring up the fact that Icke gave David Irving space on his website to flog his books in order to try and pay for his prosecution of Deborah Lipstadt?