I’m reliably informed that if I want to be taken seriously as a blogger again, then I must post some predictions for things that will happen in the next year. So, here goes:
1) Wolves will be relegated for the Premiership. Even when relegation is mathematically certain, Mick McCarthy will insist that things can still be salvaged, and will still be sticking to this line when the team are playing in the Championship and being managed by someone else.
2) England will get to the final of the Cricket World Cup and lose. Yes, we’re good at cricket again, but if there’s one thing history shows us it’s that even good England teams lose World Cup finals. Probably to India this time.
3) The coalition won’t collapse and will still be there at the end of the year. As Anthony Wells says, ‘I think we all overestimate the chances of exciting and interesting things happening’ and the imminent collapse of the coalition has replaced the imminent split of the Tory Party and the imminent resignation of Tony Blair as the focus of fevered yet inaccurate political speculation.
4) David Cameron will carry out his first unforced Cabinet reshuffle. Probably a proper reshuffle, in that no Cabinet minister will actually be sacked (no matter how many pins get stuck into Eric Pickles voodoo dolls) but a few may be switched into lower-profile roles or have their departments shrunk beneath them.
5) Sarah Palin will announce she’s running for the Presidency of the US. And, oh my, it’s going to be fun…unless she looks like she has a chance of winning, and then it’ll just be scary.
6) The British media will continue to devote considerably more column inches to American politics than they will to anything happening in Europe. A critical Irish general election? Italy in continuing political crisis? The build up to a French Presidential election? Political fallout from the Eurozone bailout? Pah, who cares about that when there’s a crazy woman from Alaska to talk about!
7) The music media will hype a band up to the skies, who will turn out to be rubbish. This is pretty much a banker – and no, it’s not me showing my age, they’ve been doing this for years (remember Huggy Bear? Romo?) and then sneering at supposedly manufactured pop acts.
8) At least one TV series I like will be cancelled. Another given, just please don’t let it be Being Human.
9) Colin Firth will win the Oscar for Best Actor for The King’s Speech. Pure guesswork, as I haven’t seen the film yet but the combination of British royalty plus triumph over disability should be powerfully irresistible Oscar bait.
10 The last Space Shuttle flight won’t take place next year. The Shuttle programme is scheduled to fly its last mission next year, but I think it’ll get a last-minute reprieve as American politicians suddenly realise their national virility is under threat if they don’t have an operating space launch – after all, the last time that happened, Jimmy Carter was President!
So there we go – I look forward to not reviewing these next year when we discover that the Mayans were great at predicting a coming apocalypse, but were absolutely useless at making accurate calendars.