Waking up this morning, I discovered I’d slept 16% less than the previous night. Extensive research of my prejudices revealed that this was due to a new European directive on sleeping, and I immediately called several self-appointed experts who slammed this decision to wake up early. I skipped breakfast, having discovered scientific studies that proved corn flakes, milk and being in a kitchen before 10am all cause cancer. Turning on the radio, I listened for thirty seconds before turning off in disgust. Didn’t they realise that on this day at some point in the past, some British people had died somewhere? A letter to the BBC followed, complaining how their political correctness gone mad meant these important anniversaries weren’t being noted. I then went out and noticed that so-called scientists hadn’t predicted the rain that was falling, which clearly shows how global warming is a myth. I kept my distance from the wheelie bins that littered the street, knowing each one contained a spy camera operated by a feral hoodie, reporting all my movements to his masters in Brussels, ready to give my house away to a gay asylum seeker. My life is hell, but at least I’m not a celebrity.
I wonder if there’s an ongoing notoriety competition between various of the right-wing professional trolls (or ‘prolls‘). Measured on some scale that calculates the balance Twitter outrage amongst the liberati, the number of outraged blog posts and PCC complaints generated, and – for the really accomplished – the number of huffy comment pieces generated in rival newspapers.
(While I’m not sure of the exact mechanics of the calculation, it’s clearly measured on the Moir Scale. Most outrages only normally register in milli-Moirs, of course, though all dream of reaching the heights of a full Moir)
Some more things from the interwebnets that have caught my attention:
Mail gets it wrong on US broadcast of ‘Downton Abbey’ – Tabloid Watch reports on how Downton Abbey isn’t being dumbed-down for American audiences. I’m shocked – shocked! – that there’s inaccurate and badly researched reporting going on in the Daily Mail. A Con-LibDem merger? I will not be a member of such a mongrel party – Oh, so many reasons to link to this angrily mad piece (with some even more bonkers comments) by Roger Helmer MEP on Conservative Home, not least the author’s picture which looks as though it should be illustrating ‘harrumph’ in the dictionary. It’s like someone distilled the essence of Conservative Home into a single page. Man of Mystery – Interesting article from the New Yorker on why Steig Larsson’s novels have such an appeal. Tilting Towards Israel – A guest post on Media Lens about the subtle biases in the reporting of Israel and Palestine in the British media. Quite contrary: Inside the Battle of Ideas – For New Humanist, Richard Wilson looks at the Institute of Ideas, and some of the other groups and organisations connected to the old RCP
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