My Presidential manifesto

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After giving the matter no consideration and not talking it over with anyone, I’ve decided to stand for Liberal Democrat Party President.

My key priorities will be to reduce the party membership, not listen to any of those members who do remain and to do all I can to ensure that we lose as many elections as possible.

I’m proud to say that I’m definitely in favour of bad things. I’m committed to regressive values and promoting injustice wherever I can, I want fewer good things for everyone in the party and will be working hard to ensure that people lose whatever good things they have.

Actually, I lie when I say I’ll be working hard. As President, I’ll be doing as little as possible and whenever I do bother to go out and visit somewhere, I’ll make it my aim to demotivate them, stop them raising any money and help them lose whatever elections they’re fighting. I’ll be able to do this because I’ve got no experience in campaigning, have never met anyone else in the party and yet somehow know nothing of the world outside politics either.

My approach can be summed up as complete conservation, seeking to keep us doing everything exactly as it’s been done in the past with no changes whatsoever.

So, vote for me for a commitment to making no commitments, stronger fairs, economic societies and a President who really doesn’t want the job and probably wouldn’t be very good at it anyway.
Continue reading My Presidential manifesto

And sometimes elections aren’t Rigged

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So, in the end, it seems that just two weeks is not enough time to organise a grassroots campaign for the Party Presidency, though Jennie gave it a damn good go. Still, there’s two years until the next contest, which is a lot more notice…

As it stands, it looks as though the contest is going to be between Susan Kramer and Tim Farron. While I am tempted by the idea of writing in a ‘press gang Ros Scott for another two years’ option on my ballot paper, at the moment I think I’m going to vote for Susan Kramer.

Having seen the difference in the last couple of years when the Party President wasn’t an MP, I’m not convinced it’s possible to do the job of President – or, at least, the job as I and others would expect to see it done – and be an effective MP at the same time. Susan seems to be running to replace Ros and carry on the work she’s done – both publicly and privately – and that’s what the party needs right now if we can’t have someone in there to really shake things up and give a radically different perspective.

Even with a large chunk of the parliamentary party serving in the Government, there seems to be no shortage of MPs and Lords willing to speak to the media, and the presidency can be so much more than just someone else ready to do the rounds of radio cars and satellite studios. We need someone who’s spending their days away from Cowley Street outside of the M25, not just down the road in Westminster. There are enough people out there willing to speak for the members of the party already, when what we need is someone who’s going to speak to them.

Sometimes elections need to be Rigged

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As you might have heard, following Ros Scott’s decision not to stand for re-election as President of the Liberal Democrats, there’s a rather unexpected election set to take place.

So, if you’re looking for a candidate to support who’s not a middle-aged man who spends far too much time in Westminster, might I suggest you consider backing Jennie Rigg? I may not agree with her on everything (and we seem to be fundamentally opposed on the merits on different versions of that most Lib Dem of all issues, Doctor Who) but she’d give the Party the shake up it could probably do with right now.